My job at the Aquarium is to stand near exhibits and answer people’s questions. During these conversations, I’ve noticed that people (including me) consistently address some animals as “she” and some as “he”, regardless of the animal’s actual sex. For example, there is one large, dark red octopus that tries to escape the tank, splashes onlookers with water, and constantly harassed a wolf eel that briefly had the misfortune of sharing the tank. The conversations surrounding this animal are along these lines: “What does he eat?” “Look at his suction cups, [child's name]!” “He must weigh 60 pounds!” etc. This octopus is actually a female. Conversely, elsewhere there is a much smaller, more delicate octopus who usually has pale pink skin. This one is graceful when it glides around, although it  prefers to stuff itself into a tiny hole in a corner. I’m not sure what the sex of this octopus is, but I do know that everyone says to their child, “Do you see her back in that hole?” “She’s so shy!” etc. Even I find myself saying “she doesn’t like to come out very often” and “she can change her skin color, although she usually sticks with pink.” Most of the time I realize what I’ve said right after it comes out of my mouth, and I feel bad for reinforcing some kid’s idea that boys are active while girls like pink/meek. To give a few more examples, the aforementioned wolf eel is always a “he”, even though it is actually female, sharks are “he”s, some tropical fish are “she”s, etc.

Some invertebrates don’t even have a sex, or they can switch back and forth. In these cases, for example with starfish, jellyfish, etc., the default pronoun seems to be “he”. I think this phenomenon shows that we still think of male as the default sex, and females as the “other.” So, even if an animal doesn’t have a face, much less a backbone, we still cannot even begin to discuss an animal before giving it a gender, and that gender is male.

On a related note, not only do the visitors and I automatically view these animals through a gendered lens, but there is a heteronormative lens in use as well. For example, sea otters like to hold hands in pairs. When I see this cute sight, my mind is automatically like “couple! boy and girl! romantic!” even though I know in the more thoughtful part of my brain that sea otters hang out in single sex groups…so these pairings are actually two female otters or two male otters. Otters of the same sex swim close together and hold hands, but a male/female pair would never hold hands, let alone float in close proximity to one another unless they were mating. (side note: you don’t need to see this video to understand my point…but if you want to see something adorable…watch this).

So far, I think I have painted the aquarium, its visitors, and myself pretty negatively, but this isn’t the whole story. I still think that aquariums and zoos can help open people’s eyes: for every conversation where I catch myself calling that dainty octupus a “she”, there are other conversations where I point out that male seahorses are the ones who incubate the eggs, that the feisty octopus and the intimidating wolf eel are females, that many animals in the touch tank are asexual or hermaphroditic, that I’m not sure whether the black tipped reef sharks are male or female, etc. I hope that rather than enforcing gender roles and heteronormativity by projecting them onto animals, I can complicate these stereotypes such that visitors leave the aquarium with more nuanced views…but it is hard to break old habits.

That being said, I cannot express how utterly sick and tired I am of getting catcalled and harassed by men on the street who seem to think that it’s their right to make obscene comments on my appearance, the way I walk, and what they would like to do to me. What, do they expect me to lie down and spread my legs in the air for them because I chose to wear something that makes me feel good? No thanks – I actually have self-respect. While I understand and have no problem with the fact that many women wear short skirts in order to attract attention, a short skirt is not and should not be considered an indicator of a woman’s sexual proclivities. Note that most men who catcall say only what they would like to do TO a woman – not what they would like to do WITH her. As if women are objects to be used at will. Just because I am wearing a particular article of clothing does not mean that I am an object to be fucked, no matter how much “easy access” a skirt provides or what the behavior of other women has been in the past. Nor does it mean that I am a brainless ditz – in fact, I am a pre-law student who is double majoring while working between 6 and 20 hours per week on top of that. Even if I was unintelligent, that still wouldn’t give anyone the right to make assumptions about me based on my appearance. Yes, in many cases the only judgment we are able to make about other people is based on their appearance, but that doesn’t make it right. Just because societal stereotypes dictate that a woman in a skirt is fair game for any man doesn’t mean it’s true.

To those people who would argue that since I know what kind of attention I will receive while wearing a skirt, I should either stop wearing skirts or stop complaining, I say screw you. Screw you for denying me my agency in choosing what to wear. Screw you for telling me that I deserve what I get for wearing something that makes me feel good. Screw you for participating in exactly the same type of victim-blaming mentality that leads to rape victims being blamed for their rapes. Because that’s what this really is – saying that a woman shouldn’t complain about men harassing her on the street if they find her to be attractive is only one step away from saying that a woman shouldn’t complain about being raped if her rapist found whatever she was wearing to be “provocative.” The most pathetic thing about people who make this type of statement is that they tend to be women, at least in my experience. How ironic that women are perpetuating the very stereotypes bandied about by the patriarchy, stereotypes created specifically to keep women “in their place” and remove all the blame from men.

Speaking of responsibility, whatever happened to men acknowledging their part in creating problems like this? Unless we accept the (obviously incorrect) premise that men have absolutely no control over their own behavior, we must admit that there is no good reason why men would feel the need to sexually harass women on the street. However, I have yet to hear a man tell another man that he is wrong for making inappropriate, sexually explicit remarks to a complete stranger. Why is this, I wonder? I know that there are many men who would never think to harass a woman on the street, but why is it that these men never speak up when they see other men doing so? True, it’s not their job to police other men’s behavior, but it seems a bit hypocritical to me when men tell women that they think catcalls are inappropriate and vulgar, but don’t do anything about it. I’m not saying that I can’t defend myself against these types of remarks, but that I feel like I shouldn’t have to since they shouldn’t occur in the first place. Just because a man finds a woman attractive does not give him the right to make her feel uncomfortable in a public setting that she has every right to be in, and if other men supposedly think that this is inappropriate too then they should actually do something about it.

I will continue wearing skirts of every shape and size whenever I please, even though I know that I will have to deal with men whistling, catcalling, making lewd remarks, and even following me down the street in their cars. I am not afraid of these men and I will be damned before I allow a bunch of adolescent minded idiots to prevent me from dressing any way I please. I just wish that we lived in a society that valued women for their intellect and accomplishments rather than one which bases a woman’s worth solely on her appearance.

via jezebel

or, if you have twitter, go to the search page and type in “amazonfail”

Dear Professor [blank],

I am a Junior LSJ major currently enrolled in your Poli Sci 201 class trying get the pre-reqs done to be able to double major. Last Fall I took your LSJ 320 class, which is in part why I am writing you this e-mail.

I have just home from my quiz section with [name removed], and I am utterly appalled at the conduct he exhibited during section. The majority of the quiz section was devoted to informing us that we would be unable to understand any of the material without his guidance because of supposedly lacking high school educations. This assumes that everyone in the class is a freshman lacking in any understanding of political theory and moreover that those students who might have some sort of background in philosophy or political theory are too stupid to understand the coursework – assumptions made by [name removed] without him even bothering to ask our names, school years, or majors, information which would obviously prove these assumptions to be incorrect. It also seemed as if [name removed] main goal was not actually to provide further insight into the coursework; his language during the quiz section was peppered with vague sports references and a lot of swearing seemingly geared toward impressing the younger male members of the class with how ‘cool’ he is. I do not object to swearing as a general rule and often indulge in the practice myself in my private life, but I think it is extremely inappropriate when almost every sentence coming from a TA or professor’s mouth contains at least one four letter word, if not several.

The most disturbing issue that occurred during quiz section, however, was the level of misogyny exhibited by [name removed]. I have been working with Planned Parenthood since I was 16 and been called all manner of names by anti-Planned Parenthood demonstrators and even by the aides to District 4 legislators when I lobbied them in 2007, yet I have never felt so marginalized as I did in quiz section today. [Name removed] referred to multiple negative issues we may encounter during the course of this class as bitches, even telling us that we needed to “smack around the text” in order to “make it our bitch” after giving a disclaimer to the men in the class that they shouldn’t hit women because it “makes [us] angry.” He also told the class Nietzsche said that “men should go to a women with a whip in hand” and that this is what we should do to our imaginations because even though “Nietzsche never got laid except for one time with his sister,” he got published. As the daughter of a domestic abuse victim, I am offended, appalled, and extremely angry that I was subjected to this type of domestic violence marginalization, especially as it came from a person who is supposed to be helping me learn about political theories dealing with the concepts of justice and equality.

Having been in your Politics and Law of International Human Rights course, I know that you are not someone who would condone this sort of behavior from one of his TAs. Even if there is nothing else you can do, please transfer me to Section AE as it is the only other section which fits with my class schedule and I do not desire to remain in a quiz section where my opinion is not valued because of my gender and supposed lack of intelligence.

My professor responded promptly and is handling the matter in a satisfactory manner, but in his response he also informed me that my TA has been awarded a coveted teaching award which was given to him by his students. This makes me wonder. The language and references he used during lecture were clearly geared towards the younger males of the class – the more they laughed, the more vulgar and demeaning his language became. I wonder if he was like this in previous courses. I wonder if he received his award because he made the guys in his classes laugh at the expense of the women in his classes. I wonder if any woman in any of his classes has reported him before, or if they have felt too intimidated to do so. The class is an entry level pre-requisite for the Political Science major – I would not be surprised if he had done this before and freshman women in his class who were unsure of their own authority just let him slide. What would you have done?

• Feministing
• Womanist Musings
• Racialicious
• Jezebel
• Radical Doula
• Sarah Haskins’ Target Women on Current TV
• Mary Pipher’s Reviving Ophelia
• Yes Means Yes (blog and book)

I’m curious as to what other people’s favorite feminist media is? Also, my list is very skewed towards online media, with just two books-which magazines/newspapers/books/etc. am I missing out on?

Also, I noticed that the authors of some of the media above might not even consider their work feminist. For example, I don’t think that Reviving Ophelia ever mentions feminism. Similarly, I don’t think that Racialicious and Jezebel have promoting/discussing feminism as their main goal. Do other people find insights into feminism in unexpected places?

I love it when comedians are pro-vagina. It definitely proves that feminists in fact do have a sense of humor.

• everyone past puberty, but especially hetersexuals, needs to read/see the Hair Monologue.

• every hetersexual male needs to read/see the Bob Monologue – and take notes.

• Angry Vagina Monologue rocks my world.  “Mostly, my vagina wants to stop being angry.”  Amen.

• all of that said, the Monologues – or at least the subset performed by this cast – were disappointingly Caucasian, Western, and heterocentric.

• I find the centering of identity around one’s genitalia to be odd and a bit disturbing.  It may be my male privilege/ignorance showing through, and I would gladly be corrected if that’s the case, but a woman is more than her vagina, and if feels reductive to identify her so strongly with it.  I’m all for changing social attitudes towards vaginae from current fear/revulsion to the respect and admiration they merit; I just think VM goes a bit overboard in this respect, with results that aren’t entirely feminist.  Thoughts from those possessing a vagina?

And then there’s the female genital mutilation monologue.  On one hand, I’m glad it’s in there.  It needs to be in there.  Without it, the Monologues would be far less authentic, far less relevant, and far less powerful.  People need to know that 3 million girls and women each year are sexually mutilated.  If anything, we need to be reminded of that fact far more often.

On the other hand  -  and these are personal issues, not universal reasons for not seeing things like the Vagina Monologues  -  I struggle frequently with nihilism and despair.  When I hear or read about the systematic rape and torture of women, I wonder why I’m even bothering to fight.  What can one person do in the face of such rabid hate?  In the end, I keep fighting, because that’s just who I am.  I come from a culture that prizes fighting for what you believe in, whether or not you have a hope of winning.  And I believe in Justice.  I just wish I could believe in the possibility of a just society.

Sorry PETA, but objectifying women to encourage vegetarianism doesn’t exactly work.

via Feministing.

americansfortruth.com

These people honestly believe that homosexual rights activists are plotting together and threatening natural/”god” given family values. Logically justify your hatred of the private love of others – I guarantee that no one will ever be able to. The private, non-harmful activities of others should never be regulated by the government nor should they be jeopardized by someone else’s values. How can you (yes you, Peter LaBarbera) justify bashing hate crime laws – laws that have helped this country evolve ? I challenge you to justify the hatred of love.

Before I go into why I find this group so problematic, I should start by acknowledging that this group is definitely not like…the worst thing ever. If this group successfuly lives up to its goal of preventing women from being raped, sweet.

But that last statement brings me to why this group annoys me: there is no mention anywhere of preventing attempts at rape, nor is there any mention of men being responsible for not raping people. Just like the recent email from UW, this group puts all the responsiblity of rape prevention on women’s shoulders. Furthermore, this group ignores the fact that the majority of sexual abuse occurs at the hands of people the rape survivors know. People reading this website would have no idea that they are much more likely to be raped by an acquaintance, friend, family member, partner, etc., than by a random creeper lurking in a deserted stairwell.

While this site may do some short term good, imagine how much bigger and more valuable an impact would be possible if parents, educators, and facebook-group-makers spent the 5-10 minutes it takes to read this site educating women about acquaintance rape and men about the value of using an enthusiastic “yes!” as the definition of consent rather than just the absence of a “no!”

Besides the fact that these tips are not relevant to most cases of rape because they fixate on stranger rape, another issue with these tips is that they encourage violence (the tae kwon do thing comes to mind). Self defense classes are still pretty controversial, judging by a recent live chat conversation on Feministing between Jaclyn Friedman and Miriam Perez (from 3:42-3:53), and for good reason. On the plus side, as Jaclyn points out, self defense classes can be empowering for women, and they can help prevent rape in some cases. On the other hand, though, self defense “uses violence,” and is too individualistic, according to Miriam, and it reinforces tired stereotypes of women as gatekeepers who have to constantly fight off men. At this point, someone could point out that we shouldn’t have to choose between funding/promoting self defense classes and working to dismantle the culture that permits rape, but because time and funding are limited, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to debate which rape prevention strategy is more valuable. I tend to agree with Miriam, but what do other people think? And what about this group and the UW warning email in general-should they be applauded at all for trying to prevent rape in their own way, or are they just doing more harm than good?