Misandry or just humor?

My friend just showed me this blog, which to be honest I find completely hilarious and am now reading on a daily basis. It’s called I bang the worst dudes. (Sorry, Mom). The premise of the blog is that women send in horror stories, and sometimes photographs, of men that they’ve had sex with. While I was reading it today, I came upon this comment:

“funny site. but i wonder what the response to it would be if it were dudes uploading obscured pictures of girls’ faces and condescendingly listing their sexual inadequacies. i guess at least it’s refreshing to know that girls will apparently hump anything that moves.”

Setting aside the last sentance, it made me think. If there were sites run by men with this premise (as I’m sure there are plenty), I would be pretty pissed off about it. Yet I find this blog funny, because it reminds me of all the awkward sexual encounters I’ve experienced. It’s undeniable that this is sexist against men, just as a blog about the sexual inadequacy of women would be sexist against women. Which leaves me wondering which is worse – having the internet filled with websites discussing male sexual encounters with women and none of women’s sexual encounters with men, or allowing ourselves to sink down to the same level and posting/reading the same type of trash that men have been writing about women for ages. Obviously in an ideal world neither would happen, but this is clearly not Utopia. On the one hand, women should be allowed to express every emotion and aspect of desire as men do. On the other, I think that misandry is just as bad as misogyny and that women should not lower themselves to the level of misogynists in the name of equality between the sexes. I don’t have an answer to this question, and I’m sure that I’ll continue to read Sorry, Mom because it makes me laugh, but at least I won’t take it for granted as just humor anymore. What’re your thoughts?

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2 responses to “Misandry or just humor?

  1. That’s a really tricky question, isn’t it? I’ve found myself doing the same thing a few times in the past – laughing at something that pokes fun at men, and then realizing how angry I’d be if it were the same type of thing poking fun at women.

    I haven’t actually visited the site in question, so I’m not sure just how bad it is… but, being the peaceful hippy-chick kind of gal I am, I have to say that I think it’s ultimately better to lead by example. I think it’s totally possible for women to share their sexuality and sexual encounters online – to make the fact that we are sexual beings known – without making it sexist to men. So that way, when we complain to a misogynistic website about the way they are treating women, they can’t respond with “Well look, you’re doing it too!” I don’t think the answer to defeating sexism is to perpetuate reverse-sexism. It’s like that whole Ghandi “An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind” thing.

    That being said, of course, it’s also important to be able to appreciate humor and know how to laugh. It sounds like a funny website – one I can imagine myself enjoying. And I’m sure the creators didn’t start the website in the hopes of instigating a global revolution of humiliating men. But debating what really constitutes funny and what constitutes offensive is a whooooole other can of worms that I’m not going to get into right now.

  2. Speaking as a male, I don’t find the site funny, but neither do I find it offensive. My reaction to most of the posts was basically, “Well, guys are weird”, which is a subset of “Well, people are weird”, which itself is a fairly obvious and fundamental truth. I’m not convinced the site is sexist per se. It’s a site for heterosexual women to share sexual horror stories – naturally, the guys mentioned are going to come off bad. Nothing on the site or in any of the posts I saw suggested that all men are swine/idiots, or even that most of them are. The site isn’t about humiliating men. Ultimately, I don’t think it’s even about humiliating a particular man (isn’t it part of the feminist mantra that not everything is about the menz?). It seems more like a sympathetic “been there, done that” extended toward fellow women.

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